What To Do When Extended Rear Facing Car Seat Isn’t An Option?

I have often found myself in a situation where I have felt guilty about having my three year old son in a forward facing car seat rather than in a rear facing car seat.  This feeling generally occurs after I have had a discussion with another mom whose child has been in a rear facing seat since birth. I’ve found myself feeling very anxious and perhaps even slightly uneducated when it has come to car seat safety – so I decided to brush up on my knowledge.

And, for those of you who may be in the same boat as me – with a child who is in a front facing car seat, I actually have some good news for you.

Did you know that a high end forward facing car seat may very well be safer than a 123 seat that can rear face?

As a parent, we always want to do what is best for our kids, yet sometimes it can all be quite overwhelming and confusing. But, sometimes we just need a gentle nudge in the right direction. Being a new mom is even more overwhelming and I recall so vividly being on the verge of an emotional breakdown when car seat shopping for my newborn. There was far too much to choose from, and I just wanted somebody with the correct knowledge to tell me exactly what I needed. My belly and myself did not do a good job at walking down the car seat aisle of the local baby stores because truth is, it isn’t all about the price – but about the tiny details of each car seat that is so incredibly important. Why didn’t anybody tell me this?


I had my son in a rear facing car seat from the moment he left the hospital until the day he outgrew it. With money being tight, I wasn’t able to afford a decent rear facing car seat. My heart sank. Now what? I had seen so much about the benefits of a rear facing seat for your kids until they were much older than what my son was at this point, but I just couldn’t afford it. I settled with a higher end front facing car seat, and oh how comfortable my little man was.

I made sure that our chosen car seat installed safely in our car and that it matched the weight, height and age of my son. Always be sure to try to have the seat you are buying fitted into your car and have your child sit in the seat before you purchase it. Most stores will allow you to do this. Some seats do not fit your car or your child, which is the first no-no! Having a seat that doesn’t properly fit in your car can be incredibly dangerous. So even if you can afford a rear facing car seat, make 100% sure that it fits safely in YOUR car. If it can’t install properly, according to the manual; it offers no protection in a crash.


A few facts for when you are buying a car seat:

1. The base of the seat should not move more than an inch in any direction when you give it a firm shake.

2.The harness height on a forward facing seat should be in line with or just above the shoulders.

3.The head rest should be easy to adjust, so that your child’s head and neck are always protected.

4.You should never put a child under 13kg’s or 1 year old in a forward facing car seat. They need to be in a rear facing seat designed specifically for infants until 13kgs, or 75cm. Their bodies cannot withstand a crash at any speed forward facing when younger because their neck is incredibly weak and their head is a huge percentage of their body weight.

I’ve sadly come across moms who tried to keep their baby or child in a car seat for as long as possible to try and save money, however, you cannot keep your toddler in their baby car seat, nor put a baby in a toddlers car seat because they have each been created for specific weights and lengths for the safety of your child.

When browsing for car seats, you may come across seats that say they are from birth to 36kgs. These seats are much higher up to allow them to be used for older children. What this means is that the child is closer to the roof of the car than they should be, which can be incredibly dangerous in a roll over.

If you find yourself in a situation, like me – where you really cannot afford an exclusively rear facing car seat, then you need to use the above tips to ensure that you find the safest front facing seat for your child.

Moms, what I am saying is that your child’s car seat safety will never come cheaply. But it is worth every cent of investing in the best car seat that you can afford for your child. And if you find that the your best investment is in a front facing car seat, like I did – then make sure that you get the safest one that you can find that is in your budget.

Do your research, and follow a trusted source such as #CarseatFullstop. I find that just because another parent is suggesting one or another car seat brand, it is vital to do some research of your own with your own child.

With statistics saying that up to 93% of people aren’t strapping in their kids… We ALL know somebody who is adding to that number.

You have the power to save a little life.

One share, seen by one person, who straps in one child, saves a life.
#CarseatFullstop. Every child. Every time. No matter what.

Please follow us on our social media channels and share them to encourage others to follow along too.





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If you have an old unused car seat gathering dust in your garage, please consider donating it to our very favourite NPO, Wheel Well. You can drop your seat at your closest Renault dealership and they will get the seat to Wheel Well. They will clean and safety check it, before giving it a new home with somebody in need for a small donation.

What kind of seat do you use for your little one? And please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below!

– One Modern Mom


The Only Thing I’ve Judged Another Parent For.

Driving back home from one of the best weekends I’ve had with my little family at our old family farm up at the Breede River, we decided to take the longer, scenic drive back through Robertson instead of our usual route back through Caledon. We weren’t even the tiniest bit phased by the toddler tunes on repeat blaring in the car, or the extra bit of traffic. We were just in our element.


Dark crept upon us, and we made our way through the Hugenot Tunnel just after Worcester. Still happily chatting about exciting family events to come as well as our special weekend away; a sudden chill hit us as we saw a car that had recently drove over the edge and was smashed up. Added to the scene were emergency lights, and a crowd of people – paramedics, etc. One of my least favourite things to see, especially on a long, happy journey home.

Not even having a chance to get that visual out of my mind, I glance to the left on a road that one can drive 120km/hr and literally find myself taking a second look. My heart sinks, I feel my blood pressure rise at a rapid speed. A little girl younger than my own son – couldn’t have been older than two running back and forth on the back seat of her parents car, jumping forward between the driver and passenger seat. This sounds terrible, but I wanted to get out and just shake her parents. Didn’t they just see the accident? What if that was them? It could have been, and one day it could be!!!

I am shaking, and I feel sick even typing this. If they can afford to have a car, and if they can afford to put petrol into their car – they can afford to prioritize a car seat for their precious little girl! They can afford to protect their baby girl from an accident that can so easily happen. It doesn’t matter how good a driver you are, these things happen in a heartbeat!


You know, I often find myself feeling anxious when we go on long trips, and we have a great car seat! I find myself nervous because I know that accidents happen, and my child is securely fastened in his car seat! I find myself praying throughout our long trips because I know that there could be someone who is texting or drunk and an accident can happen, and we spent thousands on a car seat for our son to protect him.

Yet, another parent, their childs life just as precious and fragile as my own child, couldn’t care less to take the precautions to potentially save their daughters life. One doesn’t even need to be educated to know! If you can drive a car, you are educated enough to work out that a child needs to be in a car seat! If you can drive a car, especially one like this family was in, YOU CAN AFFORD TO BUY A DECENT CAR SEAT! Your child’s life is far more valuable!!!


I am not a judgmental person. And I will never put another parent into a situation where they feel like they are not good enough. Whether you formula feed or breastfeed, whether you had a natural birth or a c-section, you are good enough. Whether you rock your baby to sleep or let them fall asleep on their own, you’re perfect. BUT, the one thing that I will voice my incredibly strong opinion on is putting your child in a car seat! If you are reading this, and don’t and feel offended, or guilty – I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry.

Being a parent means that you need to do what is best for your kids. Sometimes having to invest in something like a car seat is just something that you need to do. Sometimes you have to let your child cry even when they don’t want to be in their car seat, or sometimes your already long trip means stopping an extra 10 times because your kid needs a break from their car seat. But, there are no excuses.


I can’t express myself enough.

Do the right thing!

The Power Of Touch.

Hands up if, as a parent, you’ve heard something along the lines of ‘stop smothering your child’. Well … don’t! Today I talk about how important the power of touch actually is, and how it differs from child to child.


If you’re anything like most parents, you don’t want to stop kissing, cuddling and feeling your baby’s delicate skin. Truth is, this rarely changes as your kids grow from babies to toddlers to young children. Many parents have mentioned that they’ve heard remarks like ‘stop smothering your child’. Well… don’t!

Want to know why? Touch is the first of our senses to develop. Touch is a love language. Touch plays a huge role for babies even before they enter the world. Think back to the days you spent lying down and stroking your belly, enjoying the little flutters in your stomach. Then, as baby grew, they started responding to your belly strokes and tickles.

Once a mother has given birth, direct skin-to-skin contact has proven to provide a number of benefits for your infant. Months pass by and the story doesn’t change… a simple kiss on your little one’s stomach can have them cooing with a toothless smile on their face. I loved massaging my little boy after his baths, and I continue to do this. He often goes from wild child to completely calm in a matter of minutes.


Touch gives you a sense of security. How do you feel when you’re scared or anxious, and your other half gives you a tight hug? Or when you’re upset or happy and a parent or family member holds you close? You feel safe, calm, and loved.

Some children get over stimulated by too much touch, so be sure to understand your child’s body language so that you know when to stop. Light touch (stroking, rubbing etc.) is more likely to make a sensory sensitive child reach his brim faster, but firm pressure (hugs, rough-and-tumble play, massages and playful squeezes) are calming and reassuring for almost all children – and adults for that matter.


Many believe that a parent’s touch wears off as a child gets older. False! An older child needs your physical attention just as much. The way you administer it just changes a bit, like a hand on the back, a bear hug or even playing a game with your child that requires skin contact. Skin contact releases positive brain chemicals which will leave both you and your child feeling happy and loved.


The power of touch is a mind blowing thing. Sometimes we struggle to describe how much we love our child in words, yet a simple hug can explain it all in a matter of seconds. Holding their hand can trigger an out pour of emotions which could have been trapped inside before. A gesture as simple as placing your hand on your child’s shoulder and saying ‘I understand’ or ‘I forgive you’ can move mountains.

So, I encourage you to ignore opinions on how much touch is too much for your child. You know your child’s needs more than anybody else – positive touch is healthy and crucial for children, just as it is for you and me. Touch is a powerful healing tool and is vital for building your child’s confidence, self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

XX – @onemodernmom

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I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments tab below!

A 28-Hour Natural Birth – Lisa Harrison

Angela and myself decided that with Mother’s Day coming up, it would be a perfect opportunity to share our birth stories. With each being totally different to the next persons, I always love to hear about what other women experienced. Funnily enough, I have never really spoken about my birth story on my blog, and haven’t touched much on the topic to anybody other than close friends – for no other reason than I just never really knew quite where to begin. Perhaps I just thought that it never really stood out as nothing ‘unusual’ happened. But, each birth story is unique and just as important and precious as the next. So here’s mine. (How strange and emotional it is to take this walk back down memory lane.)


I was diagnosed with PCos when I was 18 years old. I was warned that there was a very high possibility that I may never fall pregnant. But then God had a different plan for my life.

As a younger mom, giving birth a week after turning 22 – I didn’t have many friends who had previously given birth to sort of prepare myself. I had no clue what to expect, as none of us do as first time moms. I had my heart set on a natural birth and didn’t want to have any pain relief. Because of this, I decided I wanted to give birth in a place that wouldn’t allow me the option of an epidural. I did some research and had heard wonderful things about a local maternity home. Being a small, home styled place with only a couple of maternity wards sounded just like what I wanted. Knowing that my sons delivery would be handled by a professional midwife left me feeling 100% comfortable with my decision.


On Monday 25th August 2014, I spent the day feeling uncomfortable. Nothing too unusual for being 40 weeks pregnant. I plodded around with a belly so big I felt as if I would topple over at any given moment. I recall so vividly going through to visit my mom. We went for a long walk on the beach, and I told her I felt so achy. Think menstrual cramps on day 1. That day came to an end, and Tuesday arrived. By 11am I was starting to feel a little lousy, but had a close girl friend over for tea. Hubby was at work, and I wanted a bit of company. We joked saying ‘imagine I was actually in labour’. Just before she left, I thought I should perhaps call my maternity home just to check if this were actually early stages of labour. The midwife was in a meeting, and I was told I would be called back. Nothing. As the day went on, I started feeling more and more cramps, and was starting to feel rather lousy. My friend went home and I called David to tell him how I was feeling. He asked if he should come home from work – and I told him that I was going to try and get some rest because I knew that I would wake up if things got further along (if it even was the real thing).


I woke up from my nap, and decided to call David’s aunt, who used to be a midwife. I explained the way that I was feeling, which had definitely gotten worse since I lay down for my nap – however not unbearable – just really uncomfortable. She told me that she definitely thought that I was in early stages of labour and that I best just rest as I had a long day ahead of me.


A bit unsure of what was happening, I decided to try and get some more rest. David got home from work, and I so clearly recall it being such a stormy evening. He made himself some supper and I remember him asking me if I wanted anything. I responded with ‘No, I’m not feeling great’. And he told me that he thinks I should because I need energy. I didn’t want anything, and told him I was going to go to sleep, because I had a feeling it was going to be a long night ahead. I lay down on his lap on the couch for a bit, trying to embrace my last few hours (so I thought) with this belly, and I remember feeling my stomach going rock hard, and then going back to normal. I was obsessing over timing my contractions, and I remember feeling so confused. Surely they were supposed to be consistent like I was taught in antenatal classes? They were so irregular in their gaps.


I went to sleep, it must’ve been about 7:00pm. By 10:30pm I was woken up with sharp, painful contractions. I was scared, but comforted by having David with me. Thinking back to my thoughts, my mind is blank. I can’t remember what I was thinking – I have a feeling the only thing on my mind was trying to get through the pain of each contraction. I remember my exercise ball being my best friend. I lived on it. David was trying to understand how bad they were, and wanted to know if we needed to go to the maternity ward. I didn’t know. I didn’t want to be sent home, and I didn’t want to have to sit in the empty maternity ward in the stormy weather if I wasn’t far along. We decided to just go after I collapsed from standing to sitting position after a contraction. I arrived by 11:15pm, bags and all with David and had an internal examination done. I was only 1cm dilated and already in excruciating pain. I felt so disheartened knowing I still had such a long way to go. They warned me, saying that I was obviously a slow dilator, and offered for me to stay in the maternity ward, but I decided to rather go home to my comfort.


We drove back home, and I don’t remember that drive at all. What I do remember is what seemed like the darkest night of my entire life. Not in a bad way. I think as a woman, when in labour, it just kind of feels like we are alone in a way. It’s difficult to explain. David was absolutely incredible. He was there, right next to me – running bath after bath for me. Offering to rub my back if I wanted it, and checking in to see how I was at all the right times. But, the pain that we experience is indescribable, and we are so focused and in our own world while in labour that it almost feels as if we are in a room on our own. I lived on my exercise ball, with two ottomans piled on top of each other as a surface for me to rest my head on between contractions as well as in a bath tub that entire night. I couldn’t find a single thing that made me comfortable. In the house we were renting at the time, the bath tub was narrow and quite small. The water never entirely covered my belly. I remember David making me numerous cups of tea for me to try to drink when in the bath because I was so freezing cold. I remember him dozing off and then frantically running into the bathroom to see if I needed his help out of the bath and back to the exercise ball. That night was long, it was tedious and all I wanted was to meet my baby boy.


I’ve never been so happy for the sun to come up. Because I knew that the night was over. I called the midwife in the morning and said that I was just in so much pain that I had to be at least 6cm dilated. She told me to wait a little longer (because I was dilating so slowly) and to come in at 12pm unless it was unbearable. 11am came, and I told David that I needed to go. That car ride was excruciating. It felt like the longest drive of my life. Every contraction that passed was indescribable. I felt like everybody in each car we passed was driving slowly on purpose and almost assumed they should have known I was in labour. We arrived at the maternity ward, and I will never forget walking through those doors. It was Wednesday 27th August (Olly’s original due date) and there were pregnant women waiting for their ultrasounds and check ups in the waiting room. Poor women – as I walked through the doors, I had a contraction and landed in a heap on the floor. Their faces – let’s just say I will never forget them!

They took me into the room to do another internal and to monitor babies heart beat. Lying on my back was awful. The heart rate monitor wasn’t working, and after 15 minutes they had to start again. I was irritated, and in so much agony lying on my back. The lady walked out and I told David that I needed a bucket — NOW because the pain was so bad that I needed to throw up. He ran around the maternity home asking them for buckets, and ended up grabbing a steel bucket (probably a bin) out of one of the bathrooms literally just in time. Pain meds were offered to me, and David reminded me of my wish of an unmedicated birth. It turned out I was only 3cm dilated. THREE. Now 24 hours into labour, all I wanted was to meet my baby boy, and I just wanted this pain to be gone.


The midwife arrived, and suggested I get into one of the baths to try and speed up my labour. It felt like I was in that bath for a lifetime. It must have been about an hour, and I felt this strong, uncontrollable urge to push. The midwife had gone into another room to eat some lunch and had left me with one of her assistance and David. David was amazing, assisting me with my breathing and holding my hand through each contraction. When I felt the urge to push, I frantically told the assistant to get me out of the bath and to call the midwife. Her answer was ‘no’. David ended up telling her that she had no choice after back and forth arguing with her to get me out. I kept being told to ‘stop pushing’.

I eventually got out of the bath, and I am certain that I slowed down my labour and that if I had just let my body do it’s pushing naturally, he would’ve been born right then and there in the bath tub. I was taken to the bed and this is where things took their time. It must have been about 1:00pm when I got out of the bath. 2 hours were spent with me rocking, and doing all sorts of things in hope of getting this baby to come! I remember standing totally naked in the room with my arms wrapped around David’s neck just dropping at the knees at each contraction. It was eventually time to get onto the bed and to start pushing. They broke my water and then after 45 minutes of pushing and an episiotomy, Olly had arrived. This bare, warm little person covered in vernix was plonked onto my stomach, and I remember David saying in such an emotional voice ‘Baby, you did it! He’s here.’ I think I was so exhausted and overwhelmed that I hadn’t even registered that he was out! It was a confusing moment. So completely and utterly amazing, but also surreal. I felt as if I was dreaming. As if I was living in somebody elses life. I was then told that it was time to birth the placenta. One painless push, and that was out. All I wanted was a photo of him on my stomach, I wanted him to latch and for David to then cut the umbilical cord as I had stated in my birth plan, but he was taken off of me and just before they snipped it, David quickly told them that he wanted to do it. He cut the umbilical cord and they took him to a little table to do his Apgar score, etc. I felt that it all of a sudden became so impersonal.


Sadly, this is where it all went downhill. About 20 minutes after he was born, the midwife told David – ‘Ok, you can go home now.’ With a shocked look on his face he asked them if they were joking. They responded with ‘the baby is here, now you can go home’. I couldn’t believe it. I had just been through the most ‘traumatic’, emotional, hectic thing in my entire life, and all I wanted was to have my partner there and to have his support and to cherish these first moments together. They eventually agreed to him staying for the next hour. Our moms arrived and met their grandson, and then left. David was then told to leave. My heart literally broke as I saw him leave. All he wanted was to be with us and to be able to stare at his newborn baby.

I was never shown how to get Olly to latch and was left to work it out myself. There was absolutely no guidance. Thank goodness Olly latched naturally, and fed well. After 28 and a half hours of being in labour, all I wanted was to get into a bath to clean myself. I was in pain, tender and really sore from my episiotomy. I asked them if I could have a bath and if someone would please watch Olly. They explained to me where the bath was. Nobody offered to assist me to walk there. I climbed off of the bed and honestly thought I was bleeding to death! Not once had anybody warned me that because of my natural birth, there would be a lot of blood! I had a bath, and when I got out couldn’t find Olly. I eventually found him in the ward that I had delivered him in, and they were just clearing out his nose. They brought him back to me, and I climbed into my bed next to his little crib. About to try and go to sleep, I heard that Olly sounded like he was struggling to breath. I got up again, and asked the nurse to please check him out again. She responded ‘I already did.’ I told her that I wasn’t asking her, but telling her to check his nose, she eventually took him back to the delivery ward and checked his nose. About ten minutes later, she comes back to me and says: ‘I’ve got bad news, I’ve called an ambulance.’ My heart dropped and my entire body went cold. I was convinced that my baby had died. I rushed into the delivery room, and she told me that he was struggling to breath (respitory issues), obviously due to distress from me pushing for so long. I look at my tiny, 3.8kg baby, so delicate – and my eyes gaze to his nose – to see that the breathing tubes that were supposed to be pointed upwards into his nostrils were pointing downwards. I felt like slapping somebody! I told her ‘HE CAN’T BREATH BUT YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE THE BREATHING TUBES IN HIS NOSE???’ I was told that I must just do it myself then. So there I am, as a first time mom, scared out of my mind – totally unsure of what on earth is going on – waiting for David to arrive holding tubes up my babies nose.

The ambulance arrives, and David arrives at the same time. Olly is moved into an incubator with a drip and tubes and I ride in the ambulance with him to Mowbray Maternity Hospital. David follows in his car. We arrive, and I remember so clearly getting to the doors to the NICU passage way, and the doors being slammed in David’s face. He wasn’t warned that he wouldn’t be allowed in, and seeing those doors slam shut on his face literally broke my heart. Both being so concerned about our baby and for him to be unable to be part of what was happening was excruciating.


I have pages left of this story, but to speed it all up a bit – Olly had the most incredible doctor at Mowbray who was so informative and she did such a good job at looking after my baby. We were able to go home on the Friday after him being in NICU for 13 hours, and in the KMC ward with me for 1 night.

It was a whirlwind for me, but I would do it all again in a heartbeat. There were times once Olly were so scary for me, and I cannot even begin to imagine how scary it must be for some moms who face bigger issues with their babies at birth. No story is the same, and we are ALL superheroes – no matter how we gave birth – natural, c-section, medicated or unmedicated. And to the moms who have adopted, we know that the pain is there for you too, in ways that I only understand because I am adopted and my mom has explained to me the pains and things she had to overcome of not having had the opportunity to experience birth herself and with her journey to adoption.

Right now, what matters the most is that I have a healthy 2 and a half year old boy who is happy and striving. And, I would do it all again…in a heartbeat.

An Early Arrival: Angela Rea’s Birth Story

As Mother’s Day is coming up, both Lisa and I decided it was time to tell our birth stories. Both very different experiences but the same outcome, two healthy boys. I do not know about you but I love reading other mums tales of bringing their children into the world. I can sit and read these stories for hours on end (when I have time), mostly shedding more than one tear. Birth is magical and I love the magic.


Elijah Micah was very planned. Darrell and I had been trying for quite some time, with quite a bit of loss and quite a lot of heartache, when our miracle, rainbow baby was conceived. I could not quite believe I was going to have a baby even though up until 13 weeks I had weekly scans, starting with week 5. I was madly anxious and paranoid and am so grateful to the medical team I had looking after me who would answer their phone anytime to me to try and calm me down. I would cry and beg to my FET specialist to prescribe something for my anxiety but he refused every time and persuaded me that not medicating myself was best for baby. I am so glad I listened to him as it is only 9 months of your life and I had such a sense of accomplishment that I had not taken anything.


I was mildly nauseous for my whole pregnancy. The type of nausea where you just want to constantly eat white, refined carbs(ta ta Banting, nice to know you) as that is the only thing that settles your tummy. Hence I put on 7kgs in the first 3 months! But only 9 in total in my whole pregnancy. Being the very paranoid person that I am, plus living in a tiny village nearly an hour away from the hospital I was going to give birth at, I would take myself down weekly to the local clinic at the pharmacy in town for a little check up.

elijah 2

At 34 weeks pregnant, a Friday, I took myself down to Sister Kotze so she could do my weekly tests. I have always had slightly low blood pressure. She took my blood pressure and her eyes got a little bit wide and she said she thinks I should just slowly lie back on the bed. She asked me to phone my gynecologist who told me to go straight to hospital and he would book me in over the phone.

elijah 1
Off to Paarl Medi Clinic we go. Darrell was still away finishing his winter season of aerial firefighting up north in Stutterheim, over 1000 km away with the closest airport a few hours away. Eunice, my mother in law, had offered to come down to South Africa from their missionary work in Tanzania to help with the new arrival which we had eagerly accepted and asked if she would possibly come a few weeks earlier as I would be all alone in Tulbagh and nearly an hour from the hospital. I am so grateful that she said yes and was therefore on hand to drive me to the hospital and keep our home running in my absence. We arrived at the hospital and I was whisked away to a bed and all sorts of tests started. The baby’s heart rate was fine but after a 24 hr urine test I was found to have pre-eclampsia. I am really not sure why it was such a shock to me as my fingers, toes, face and even my nose was so swollen. My amazing  gynecologist Dr Andre Van Rooyen would sometimes come check on me three times a day and had told me that they would keep me in hospital until they performed a Caesar me at 37 weeks pregnant. My eyes were really opened to how dedicated the medical profession is. It really must be a true calling to be a doctor as they sacrifice so much time away from their own families for the sake of others. Dr Van Rooyen told me that if he had to Caesar me earlier it would not be an emergency and Darrell would have enough time to get to me in hospital as his work would not let him off.

So started two weeks of bed rest, four hourly monitoring of the baby and countless blood tests etc. I was on blood pressure medication but my blood pressure was all over the place, very high one minute and low the next. At 36 weeks after being in hospital for two weeks Darrell got the good news that the clients wife in Stutterheim had intervened and demanded that Darrell be allowed home to his wife. I was so excited as he called me to say he was leaving at 5 am the next morning to come home. At my 10 pm monitoring of baby’s heart rate the sisters face looked a bit concerned and she rushed off muttering she was going to call another sister, who came in and brightly told me she was going to phone my doctor. Obviously I was hysterical. I did not want to phone Darrell as he needed to be well rested for his long journey home the next day. I was monitored every two hours that night ending when Dr Van Rooyen arrived very early the next morning. He apologized to me and said he knows he promised he would not do this to me but they were going to caesar me in two hours time as the baby had gone into distress. By this stage Darrell was on the road, some 10 hours away still. I phoned him to relay the news and asked him to please not panic and speed as there was absolutely no chance that he would make it and that we would see him in due course. WE! It had just hit me that I was about to give birth. I was so nervous as Elijah was in distress and I was not really sure what that would entail. Darrell phoned his mum who rushed through to be with me and I phoned my sister Linda. I asked her not to tell anyone as I was so very scared and not thinking straight. She jumped into her car and raced through to Paarl from Cape Town.


The nurses came in to prep me for surgery and when they were gone I remember going into the bathroom and dropping to me knees, praying harder than ever before to God to keep this precious miracle baby safe. I was then wheeled into the recovery room to wait while they readied the theater for us. Most of what happened next is a blur. I was put on the operating table, the anesthetist asked me to curl my spine away from him while I was sitting on the edge of the bed so he could perform the spinal block. My years of doing yoga really paid off as I did not feel a thing from the needle that I had heard so many horror stories about. As I was lying down Linda came flying into the theater dressed in her hospital scrubs, ready to be with me. A few cuts later, one big big cry, tears of relief and our beautiful Elijah Micah Rea was born. Perfect. So healthy and strong. He latched immediately and hence started a new love affair. From that moment he was by my side and still is. Doing life together. His Daddy got to meet him later that afternoon. I have never seen a bigger smile on Darrell’s face, as tired as he was after driving all that way, than when he got to hold his son for the first time.

We would love to hear your birth stories too! If you would like to share yours, please email it to onemodernmom@hotmail.com along with a photograph.

A Faithful To Nature Lifestyle.

Faithful To Nature is a local, Cape Town based company that sells a large variety of organic, health conscious products. Ranging from food, beauty, child, home and pets – they really do have everything you could possibly need when experimenting with perhaps moving into a healthier lifestyle, or continuing with your healthy life, easily. Faithful To Nature is an online store, packed to the brim with the best products you can possibly find. Each product has a clear description of what it can be used for, it’s benefits and most importantly, the ingredients. I love this! If it weren’t for that, it would be totally overwhelming – but with everything laid out so informatively, I really enjoyed educating myself on what is out there!

I placed my order on their website: https://www.faithful-to-nature.co.za/ on the Thursday morning – by Friday afternoon it had arrived on my doorstep. The glass products safely wrapped up so it there was no possibility of breakage. It honestly felt like both my birthday and Christmas day combined! I excitedly opened my box, and pulled out each of the products I had ordered.  Not only was I excited to see everything in true form – but I was really excited to actually try things out.

I ordered in categories that would obviously be most beneficial to me.

My skin has been breaking out around my chin area more than it has before. As a sufferer of PCos (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), it seems as if my menstrual cycle has become a lot more regular in the past couple of months (THIS IS A GOOD THING!!! Yay). My hormonal imbalance has obviously been a little out of the norm which has resulted in slight acne in that area. So, I wanted to try a few GOOD, and trustworthy, organic acne products.


  1. HOMESPUN APOTHECARY HIMALAYAN & ACTIVATED CHARCOAL MUD MASK : https://www.faithful-to-nature.co.za/homespun-apothecary-himalayan-activated-charcoal-mud-mask



A natural, vegan product which I have used twice since I received it. It recommends adding honey or yoghurt instead of water to create the paste if you desire, and so I added a little plain yoghurt. I was amazed at how it cleared out all of my pores, especially around the nose area. It also did a great job at drying out the pimples that I had on my chin. It left my skin feeling very soft. I like that you can easily see when it is time to wash the mask off, as the charcoal very obviously changes to a lighter colour once totally dry.




Do yourself a favour by following the above link to read up in depth about this product. I’ve been so turned off of the face washes that you buy at the local supermarket. The amount of rubbish pumped into them is just insane! This product has done an amazing job at drying out my zits and leaving my skin feel fresh and free of toxins, pollution and bacteria it is exposed to each day (as they mention). It doesn’t burn my eyes, and it removes my waterproof mascara without any effort. It has a slight aniseed scent, but with sensitive skin, it doesn’t dry out my skin, or leave it stinging or itching!



I’m sure that each of us have beauty tips that we have learnt from our very wise mothers. My mom swears by her Simply Bee products. She has always used the Simply Bee Day Cream and the Simply Bee Night Cream. Every time I stay over at her house, or visit – I won’t leave without having used a little myself! This stuff is magic, it’s like the everlasting moisturizer! It seems to last forever. But, does it do the trick? 100 times yes. At 60 years old, my mom has beautiful skin. It is hydrated and beautiful. I apply this moisturizer after washing my face, before bed – and the moisture is still there when I wake up in the morning. There’s nothing like waking up with fresh skin! Because it is beeswax, you can imagine – it smells amazing!!!


 I’ve also been on the lookout for some organic beauty products. I find that the everyday beauty products are mostly wonderful for your overall appearance, however, they do my skin no justice in the long run. I refuse to buy products that are going to make my skin breakout, and I’m just so tired of not being satisfied with how my skin looks without makeup on!





Due to my skin being more acne prone, I’ve been looking for a good concealer that covers up, but will also allow my skin to breath.  So many times I have bought a cover up stick that makes my skin worse. The thing I love about the Dr Hauschka Pure Care Cover Stick was created with more than just one intention in mind. Apart from being used as makeup, it also has soothing and healing properties. I definitely HAVE noticed this when using it. Made with only natural ingredients, this wonderful product is made up with extracts of rose petal, calendula and kidney vetch for soothing & to work to visibly reduce redness. Beeswax for healing and protection as well as to help retain moisture. Tee tree oil for an anti-bacterial and anti-bacterial purpose, and Manuka oil to combat skin irritations and infections. This is one amazing product which I believe is an essential for in your makeup bag. It is worth every cent and it will last you forever!



When I’m older, I will be distraught if I start losing my long eyelashes because of the awful mascara I bought and used. Just because a mascara is well-known and expensive, doesn’t mean that the ingredients are good for you. I have bought many well-known brands in the past that leave my eyes stinging when my eyes start to water. Often, even with a good makeup remover, I can’t get it all of my eyelashes before I go to bed. I must admit, it freaks me out a little. So, to find an organic mascara, that works perfectly, and doesn’t do any of the above, is just so great. HAPPY DANCE! This mascara is beautifully packaged, and comes in brown or black. It is also NOT tested on animals and is also packaged in recycled and recyclable materials. SCORE!!!



Not quite beauty related, but it does look after your wellbeing. 😉 I first tried Kombucha at Babylonstoren just less than a year ago. I kept going back for more, and more, and more. I was surprised that I liked it, because it has an unusual taste that is honestly just so delicious. It is referred to by Faithful To Nature as ‘A brew of Health-In-A-Bottle’. Please don’t be put off when I tell you that Kombucha is a drink made from a unique combination of fermented buchu, honeybush and star anise which provides you with an array of living probiotics, organic enzymes, polyphenols, vitamins, minerals and amino acids. It is absolutely divine, and totally refreshing. Believe it or not, my son loves it too! I took mine on a hike with me yesterday and enjoyed it beneath a waterfall. It provided me with energy and totally quenched my thirst. They now also offer a variety of flavours, which makes it quite fun if you enjoy Kombucha. It is also a natural energy drink. So, a fantastic drink to keep on hand for when you need a little energy boost!

Enough about me, as a mom, I naturally had to get my hands on a couple products for my two and a half year old son, too. But, before I begin – I have to RAVE about how wonderful the Faithful To Nature selection is for kids. The amount of eco-friendly toys, baby products and food they have is mind-blowing. And, I think I will be doing all of my kids party shopping on here from now on!




Too often do we find ourselves ‘filling’ up our kids stomachs with junk. Treats don’t have to be sweets and food that has absolutely no ingredients that are beneficial to your kids health. It freaks me out how companies promote food and drinks as lunchbox fillers and as ideal snacks for kids when they are literally packed with sugar, colorants and a bunch of crap. I can see exactly when my son has had sugar. I can do a countdown from once it has been finished, to when the wild child, with a lack of obedience and a naughty side gets exposed. The high is short, and the low is long and painful for us as parents. It honestly isn’t worth it. I did a little experiment with this product on Easter.  The Easter eggs from family were hidden, and I added this cute little bar to the hunt. The excitement for this was much higher than for the chocolate! I’m not speaking for all kids. I have a child who chooses a few slices of freshly cut mango with plain yoghurt over chocolate ice cream. But he does have sugar and I have just learnt that it isn’t a pleasant experience, ever! These are wonderful treats to keep on hand for when you’re at the shop, or out and about and they either deserve a treat, or need a little snack. They are totally healthy, have natural sugar in and really are just so delicious! They cost about the same amount as a packet of jelly tots, however, they are the CORRECT portion size for a child and you won’t have them screaming for more because it is filling and it isn’t a packet that has far more than what a child should have in a serving. I totally recommend getting your hands on a few of these!



Ironic, here’s me preaching about how my two and a half year old will choose fruit and yoghurt over chocolate ice-cream, but at the end of the day, toddlers will be toddlers and as moms we don’t always win.  But, we can…. I came across this Mr. GoodSpoon – Organic Superfood Blend For Kids. Basically, it is a powder that is packed with all of the goodness your child needs that gets dissolved and simply added to their smoothie or porridge. They won’t even know that it is happening. It’s so tough to get kids to eat their veggies as they start to know ‘better’. Broccoli and peas were once a veggie that we boasted to all of our friends that our tiny baby loved so much..and then the toddler years approach, and just like that – it’s as if they all begin to follow some ‘No Greens’ cult that us as parents aren’t aware of. This is magic, guys! My son loves his smoothies, and has been guzzling them down as usual without a care in the world. Veggies done for the day! Woop. I think I should start sneakily adding this to hubbies meals too!!!





We very rarely buy toys for my son, as we find that playing outdoors is just so much more beneficial to him. The toys that he does have get carted outside with him and neglected because he has so much fun in his own imaginary world that he forgets about them. Toys can be such a waste of money as if you don’t buy the correct age toys for your child, they won’t be stimulated enough by them. However, I have always loved Hape. They have the most wonderful selection of wooden, educational toys for kids. Toys that have the Wow factor that continues, and not one that is exciting the moment it is opened, and then forgotten. In the past 2 months, Olly has shown a love for playing Doctor, and so when I saw this, I naturally felt the urge to order it for him. It is a set that he will love and be able to use for many more years, and an interactive toy that he can play and share with not only us but his friends. Being wooden, this will last forever, and it can be passed on when the time is right. The toys have been made with so much care and thought and actually WORK like the real thing. Olly just loves this Doctor set, and I am so happy I ordered it for him!



Again, back to my skin – I forgot to mention these Zinc capsules that I ordered to see if they would help clear up my skin. It always takes a little while for this type of thing to start visibly working, so I am yet to see an obvious change in my skin because of this in particular. Because I am trying three different products specifically for my skin, it’s challenging to know what is working the most. But there definitely has been some changes. Zinc, is however so good for so many different things, so I know that even if it doesn’t work so well for my skin, it’s still beneficial and certainly not a waste of money! I love that I only need to take one capsule a day, and that they don’t have a strong flavor.

Overall, I have had a phenomenal experience ordering through Faithful To Nature, and I will be back to order a few of the same things, and some new things again very soon! I’m so excited to try new products and to see the new products they bring in over time. Do yourself a favour and check out their website for yourself. You’ll be surprised just like I was, I’m sure!


I also currently have an amazing GIVEAWAY happening on my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/onemodernmom/photos/a.1413740795622584.1073741829.1409931466003517/1763131764016817/?type=3&theater
You can win a R1000 Faithful To Nature voucher by following a few simple steps!

In the meanwhile, follow us on Instagram:
@onemodernmom // @faithfultonature




A Eurobebe Easter.

I am always on the look out for cute, well made boys clothes for Elijah. I don’t know about you other mama’s but when Elijah was just a tiny bump in my tummy my obsession for buying clothes for myself turned to buying clothes for my baba. Darrell and I were convinced we were having a girl. The nursery was all planned out in my mind(with a bit of help from Pinterest). And I was about to start shop shop shopping for a girl! At our 12 week scan the fetal specialist asked us if we wanted to know the gender of our baby and we sheepishly grinned yes, as we were convinced we just knew. When she said a boy we actually thought she was playing a joke on us. It took us all of 2 seconds to come around to the fact that we were having a BOY! And boy were we happy ;). But as you all know there are a lot more cute clothes out there for girls than for boys. So when I came across EUROBEBE.SA on Instagram I was so excited as the clothes for boys (and girls) are just so gorgeous!


The company was started by two mama’s who wanted beautiful baby and toddler products akin to their Pinterest and `Instagram mama’s in Europe and just could not find them in South Africa, so they decided to do something about it. And EUROBEBE.SA was born. Their signature look draws inspiration from Scandinavian design, specializing in sourcing the best and latest in European baby and toddler wear.
I went a bit cray cray ordering things for Elijah on their beautiful and very easy to navigate website. The clothes are not hideously expensive, even though they are imported from Europe and so I was able to buy a few pieces for Elijah’s winter wardrobe. The package arrived quickly and was so beautifully wrapped. Elijah helped me open all the individually wrapped garments and immediately clutched the fox coat to his chest shouting “Freddy Fox!” He wanted to put it straight on and ran to the mirror remarking that he had a tail. Sweet boy.
We also got bunny suits which Lisa and I thought would be perfect for the boys baking day in the Sweet Lion Heart kitchen with Matt Masson Weddings taking photographs of them helping Nikki Albertyn make some yummy Easter Bunny Rocket Pops. Those two sweet bunnies stole everyones hearts who saw them.
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Thank you EUROBEBE.SA we shall definitely be shopping with you again! You can shop to right here: https://www.eurobebe-sa.com
Love, Angela

A Sweet Easter To All.


Angela, myself and our boys were so lucky to do a little Easter collaboration with Nikki from Lionheart and Matt Masson Photography a couple weeks ago. If you don’t know who Sweet Lionheart is, you’ve probably been living under a rock for the past few months. Home to the most delicious cakes and rocket pops, they are tasty not only to the eye, but to your taste buds too!

We arrived at the Lionheart studio in Woodstock the morning of the shoot. Our boys fully equipped by being dressed head to toe for the occasion, two sweet bunnies bounced excitedly through the Lionheart doors. With squeals of anticipation and mischievous smirks on their faces, we were slightly curious to see how the shoot would go.

I was immediately inspired by Nikki. Her drive, passion and enthusiasm was contagious. I would define her as a tiny, but trendy firecracker! She is such a talented woman. Graphic design, baker and photographer all in one! I was so taken a back by her. A few minutes later, Matt arrived. With a very friendly smile and his camera ready to start snapping away, we were ready to go! The blenders were spinning, and the colourful decorative bits laid out and ready to be toddler handled.

The boys were seated on stools at the island in the organized and sparkly clean kitchen, and within 5 seconds, the kitchen had been turned upside down. Nikki smiled and laughed as the boys messed up her baby (her kitchen) without a second thought. The baking begun, and the boys eagerly pushed their cake into the molds for their cake pops with the gentle guidance of Nikki. How she managed to get through the entire thing with two boys on her own, amazes me to this day! I think they ate more than they pushed into their molds, but that’s ok too, right?

It was then time to get REALLY messy, and they got to dip their bare rocket pops into the chocolate before adding their colourful icing, the decorative bits and of course the bits added to make the bunny an obvious bunny. The entire process was calm, and fun – and the boys were just totally besotted with Nikki because of the way that she interacted with them.

Disclaimer: The Easter Bunny Rocket Pops shown in these photos were made by our two and a half year old boys, not by Lionheart – I promise that your order will NOT look like this!!! 😉

Matt was just an absolute pleasure to work with. He knew exactly what he was doing, and although he does more weddings than shoots with young children, he immediately adapted to the challenge, and the results are just divine. He was quirky and the boys just loved having him there.

Copyright © Matt Masson 2017 Image 169

I will be doing a separate blog post on Matt and his incredible talent next week because he totally deserves to have his own moment of appreciation. But I just had to mention him here to say a huge Thank You for his amazing work and all of the time he put into making this collaboration happen.
Angela will be doing a review on the boys’ sweet bunny outfits from Eurobebe SA tomorrow, so make sure that you check in tomorrow afternoon!

In the meanwhile, go and get your taste buds working and get inspired by following Lionheart:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sweetlionheartpatisserie/?ref=br_rs
Instagram: @sweet.lionheart
Website: sweetlionheart.com

Inspire yourself equally by following Matt Masson Weddings:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mattmassonweddings/?ref=br_rs
Instagram: @mattmassonweddings
Website: http://www.mattmasson.co.za/
You can also checkout the Eurobebe pages in the meanwhile:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Eurob%C3%A9b%C3%A9-1254884247927711/
Instagram: @eurobebe.sa
Website: https://eurobebe-sa.myshopify.com/

You can also follow Angela and myself on Instagram to keep up with all of our adventures as toddler/boy moms:

@onemodernmom // @angievictoriarea

Treat Their Skin Like Royalty.

If you were aware of the amount of baby and kids skincare products that are being advertised as being organic and pure and actually aren’t, you’d be shocked. I feel that as moms, we so often believe what we read because, they must be true if that information is on the internet, right? Wrong! Word of mouth can be such a positive thing, but it can also be so dangerous. It just takes a couple of moms at your kids school to tell you that the ingredients of a certain product are actually ok, for one or two reasons for you to believe that and to pass on the word at your kids next play date. We, as moms, really do need to educate ourselves on what is ok to be in contact with our babies, kids, and even on our own skin!


I once did a short Vegan skincare course online, and laughed when I read that “if your end product is safe to eat, it is safe for your skin”. I haven’t always been clued up and very interested in organic skincare products, but due to my sensitive skin, I’ve always kind of found myself going back to these products because they’re the only ones that don’t leave my skin irritated. When Olly was born, I had a little extra awareness about how damaging skincare products can be to such delicate skin, which brings me to this blog post.

I was lucky enough to come across an all natural Dermacare Body Balm by a newer brand. Vivan BeBe was started by Skincare Aesthetician, Wandi Oosthuizen. Having grown up in the skincare and beauty business, with 15 years experience, gaining international exposure and working for a multi-national skincare company, with the passion to help others, this put Wandi on the path of looking into all natural ingredients for your health and skincare.

Vivan BeBe started shortly after, proving a product without any chemicals, toxins, parabens or harmful ingredients for the use of babies, and any other sensitive sin which requires nurturing.

Wandi and her husband then found out that they were expecting their first baby, a little girl. They thought to themselves that, just like all parents, they wanted to give her the very best. They didn’t want to expose her skin to what is harmful. That being said, their mind was at ease knowing what they were applying to her delicate skin.

My own experience with the product has, so far been a very positive one. I’ve touched on this topic quite frequently not only now, but more so when Olly was a newborn and young baby. I was so concerned about his skin breaking out in rash, or getting red and irritated or dry and flaky that I so badly just wanted to find a product that would look after his skin. I did find a product, but it was only available overseas. I constantly worried about it running out, and so badly wanted to find a product that was available locally.


Fast forward 2 years, and this sweet bottle of Dermacare Body Balm landed on my doorstep. Formulated from nature’s best quality natural ingredients, and especially by a mom really puts my mind at ease. Testing the product on my own skin, is always the best way for me to find out if the product is truly safe on my child’s skin. I rubbed it into my hands and on the skin inside of my arm, and there was no reaction! YAY!!!

Vivan BeBe encourages one to massage gently onto babies skin after bath to keep them calm, relaxed and ready for bed. The lotion smells so fresh and the thought of having a newborn baby to snuggle once bathed and in their little pajamas while smelling like Lavender & Eucalyptus oil just takes me walking back down memory lane of when Olly was still so tiny.


I truly do encourage you to buy this product, not only for your baby, but for yourself too! It works wonderfully, and the best part is that you are using something that is safe and healthy for your family!

Vivan BeBe has kindly given all of my readers a R50 discount when purchasing on their online store. All you need to do is use this code: 1MODMOM at checkout.

Shop here: https://vivanskincare.com/

I would love to know your thoughts on this product once you’ve given it a try, and I hope to be giving some away at a later stage too.

This is also a great gift for a mom-to-be at their baby shower, so keep this in mind if you’re not a mommy yourself.

Check out their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/Vivan-BeBe-1850339198570975/


Baby Photos: Seppi Hochfellner
Product Photo: @angievictoriarea

I would love to hear your thoughts on using organic products on yours and your families skin below! Also, don’t forget to subscribe!!!


The Power Of Touch

Hands up if, as a parent, you’ve heard something along the lines of ‘stop smothering your child’. Well … don’t! I’m talking about how important the power of touch actually is, and how it differs from child to child. 


If you’re like most parents, you don’t want to stop kissing, cuddling and feeling your baby’s delicate skin. Truth is, this rarely changes as your kids grow from babies to toddlers to young children. Many parents have mentioned that they’ve heard remarks like ‘stop smothering your child’. Well… don’t!

Want to know why? Touch is the first of our senses to develop. Touch is a love language. Touch plays a huge role for babies even before they enter the world. Think back to the days you spent lying down and stroking your belly, enjoying the little flutters in your stomach. Then, as baby grew, they started responding to your belly strokes and tickles.

Once a mother has given birth, direct skin-to-skin contact has proven to provide a number of benefits for your infant. Months pass by and the story doesn’t change… a simple kiss on your little one’s stomach can have them cooing with a toothless smile on their face. I loved massaging my little boy after his baths, and I continue to do this. He often goes from wild child to completely calm in a matter of minutes.

Touch gives you a sense of security. How do you feel when you’re scared or anxious, and your other half gives you a tight hug? Or when you’re upset or happy and a parent or family member holds you close? You feel safe, calm, and loved.


Some children get over stimulated by too much touch, so be sure to understand your child’s body language so that you know when to stop. Light touch (stroking, rubbing etc.) is more likely to make a sensory sensitive child reach his brim faster, but firm pressure (hugs, rough-and-tumble play, massages and playful squeezes) are calming and reassuring for almost all children – and adults for that matter.

Many believe that a parent’s touch wears off as a child gets older. False! An older child needs your physical attention just as much. The way you administer it just changes a bit, like a hand on the back, a bear hug or even playing a game with your child that requires skin contact. Skin contact releases positive brain chemicals which will leave both you and your child feeling happy and loved.


The power of touch is a mind blowing thing. Sometimes we struggle to describe how much we love our child in words, yet a simple hug can explain it all in a matter of seconds. Holding their hand can trigger an outpour of emotions which could have been trapped inside before. A gesture as simple as placing your hand on your child’s shoulder and saying ‘I understand’ or ‘I forgive you’ can move mountains.

So, I encourage you to ignore opinions on how much touch is too much for your child. You know your child’s needs more than anybody else – positive touch is healthy and crucial for children, just as it is for you and me. Touch is a powerful healing tool and is vital for building your child’s confidence, self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

— One Modern Mom xx

PS. Please do share your thoughts with me below!

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